DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
