I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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