he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
