Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Pants are for mortals
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
