Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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