Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
