I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
