Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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