sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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