Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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