apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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