I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
