Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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