Cold hands, warm shart.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
