I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
