ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Randomize
