My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
