Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
