Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
