I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
