One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
