I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
