I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
