What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
