you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
