at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
