question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
birth control should be required to get into college
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
