Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
