I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
