Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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