Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
