great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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