he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
