i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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