i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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