Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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