I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
