Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
