it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can I color on your dick again?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
