No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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