I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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