Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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