i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
