: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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