Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
