I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
pop tarts are not kleenex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
50% drunk capacity currently
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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