new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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