Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
