its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
