I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
